Charlie Sheen's Two And A Half Men Character TO DIE

So, remember that guy Charlie Sheen? He apparently didn't cease to exist when we all stopped looking at him. What the Bleep Do We Know? lied! But Charlie's character on Two and a Half Premature Ejaculations is going to disappear. The TV Charlie (because his character is also named Charlie–Charlie Harper, apparently) is not returning to the show next season, you know, because Charlie Sheen imploded this spring and got himself fired and they recruited Ashton Kutcher to take his place.

Now word has leaked out that creators are going to explain Charlie's absence by KILLING HIM. Yes! They are brainstorming death story lines including starting the show next season with Charlie driving his car over a cliff. Cue Toonces the Driving Cat who twice stole Charlie Sheen's car in real life and drove it into a ditch, as pictured above.

Now if only the creators of the show would kill themselves, too. For real. Because they made this horrible, piece-of-mierda show.